


A Tale of Two Captains

by TerekfromEarth



Category: Sherlock (TV), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Holodeck, M/M, Sherlock/Star Trek - Freeform, This is ridiculous, sexy talk, smutty language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:16:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerekfromEarth/pseuds/TerekfromEarth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock has an interest in meeting his human mother's (implied) ancestor, Sherlock Holmes. John meets Jim, they drink and dish about their boyfriends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tale of Two Captains

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is nonsense. The Holodeck didn't even exist until TNG. But anyway. I just think that if John Watson could meet Jim Kirk, they'd have a lot to say about their boyfriends. I'm an avid John/Sherlock reader, so this is dedicated to all my favorite Johnlock fic writers.

A Tale of Two Captains

“Spock, please, do you really think this is the best way to spend our afternoon together?” Jim Kirk reached out to grab his partners’ hand, tugging him closer. “I mean, we could be doing other things,” he purred into Spock’s ear, giving special attention to the very tip. 

Spock murmured, but did not pull away. “It is something I wish to explore. I have not given my human ancestry nearly as much attention as I should. My mother spoke eminently of her ancestral connection to the great Sherlock Holmes. You have expressed on many occasion how I should embrace my human side more thoroughly.” He turned and looked at Jim with his large brown, sad eyes. “Do you not wish for that now?”

Jim let out a breath, defeated. “How can I possibly say no to you. Ok, so we’re going to London, 2012. I suppose I can find a nice pub to drown my sorrows just thinking about your beautiful---“

“Jim,” Spock leaned, pressing his lips to a chaste kiss, “thank you.”

“Uh-huh. Prepare the Holodeck and I’ll meet you shortly.” Jim smiled and walked away, his figure being followed by appreciative dark brown eyes. 

###

Jim sat at the Red Rooster Pub on Baker Street, London, polishing off his second pint, and although he had never been to one, the live telecast of a football match seemed to have the attention of everyone in the place. A short man with sandy hair, smiling eyes and a cute turned up nose sat down next to him at the bar and ordered a pint of something dark. 

“Afternoon Cap’n,” said the friendly barkeep to the short, “I read your blog this morning. Not very nice of those creeps, making that poor boy hallucinate monstrous hounds and all.”

“Yeah, not very nice at all.” The sandy haired man smiled and took a long drink. 

Jim Kirk, overhearing thought he might be able to have a conversation with this man. “Captain, did he just call you Captain?” Jim Kirk politely asked the man. 

“Yes, yes. But that was a long time ago,” he replied and held out his hand, “It’s John, John Watson.”

“Jim Kirk,” they shook hands. He smiled and immediately knew this was Sherlock Holmes’ crime solving partner from the dissertation Spock forced him to read before their journey. “Are you the same John Watson who works with Sherlock Holmes?” Jim asked. 

“That would be me, but Sherlock does all the work, really. He keeps me around because he says I am a ‘conductor of light’, whatever the hell that means.” He laughed. 

The barkeep spoke up. “Now Cap’n, if it weren’t for you, Sherlock would be---,” he stopped himself and walked away. 

“Yeah. Sherlock has just met this very peculiar chap, seems completely out of a different time. They speak the same language, all logical and stuff. Christ, you’d think there was nobody else in the room. Now there’re traipsing off around London.”

“Ah, so Spock found Sherlock Holmes,” Jim said. 

“Yes, that’s his name, Spock,” he said surprised. “Like I said, peculiar. Do you know him?”

“We came to London together so Spock could meet him and perhaps spend the afternoon studying him. Which makes our meeting quite the coincidence.” Jim shook his head, trying not to forget that the Holodeck makes things like this happen. 

“I’ll drink to that, Jim!” He signaled to the barkeep for two more pints. “So, how does a normal bloke like you come to be friends with someone like Spock?”

“We, uh, we work together, and,” oh hell why not he thought, “and we live together.”

“Sherlock and I are flat mates, too. I’ll be damned!”

Before Jim had a chance to think about social implications of homosexuality in 2012 he blurted out, “and he’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh!” John looked away so as to not show his awkwardness. 

“Is that...not cool with you? Y’know, where I come from it hasn’t been an issue for a long, long time.” Jim turned toward the bar, taking a long pull on his beer. 

“No, no. It’s ok, it’s fine...it’s just.”

“Finish your sentence, captain,” Jim prodded. 

“No, please don’t think I’m a homophobe. It’s all fine. In fact, we have much more in common than seems possible. Sherlock and I are...well, he’d roll his eyes if he heard me use the term boyfriend, but there you have it.”

“So, I’m sitting next to another normal guy who just so happens to be dating a genius. That’s weird, man.” Jim, now finishing his third (he lost count) pint, ordered two more. “And two shots of tequila, please.”

“Here’s to being normal.” John nodded, clinked glasses and put away his shot. 

Kirk’s head began to spin in the most wonderful way. He was in a cozy pub, watching sports, and spending time with the most easy going man he had ever met. “Can I ask you how you do it, I mean, how do you live with a genius? Spock frustrates the hell out of me sometimes.”

“You have no fucking idea, mate! Sherlock almost burned down our flat in the name of science! Twice!”

“Don’t get me wrong, Spock is brilliant, he deserves his post more than anyone I know.”

“Yeah, where does he work? Let me guess, he’s a scientist?” John asked innocently.

“Yes, he works for a private company called Enterprise. It’s pretty top-secret, so that’s all I know...” he trailed off but was so drunk he’d start talking about space and John would have him institutionalized and their Holodeck trip would be ruined. 

“Even though Sherlock is all-work-and-no-play, he can be very romantic. He insists on wearing my dog tags and he would give his life for mine.”

“Yeah, we’ve been through some...challenging times ourselves.” Jim paused to think about the many times they have saved each other and how he couldn’t even discuss it with this other man. 

“Sherlock’s a fucking great shag, too.”

Jim laughed so hard; his beer almost came up through his nose. “So I guess we’ve crossed that threshold now. Shit, I can’t believe I’m going to tell a total stranger about my boyfriend’s massive cock!” They both laughed so loud, patrons at the bar looked over. “Yes, Spock has a romantic side, too, but let me tell you, his sex drive is insatiable!”

John quirked an eyebrow and lowered his voice mischievously. “Oh, do tell, my friend, do tell.”

“Ok, I’ll tell you one thing about Spock in bed and you tell me one thing about Sherlock. Deal?”

“Sounds like a deal. I bought the last round so you go first. Is there anything that Spock does to you that you would never be able to live without?” John queried with a hiccup. 

Jim blushed. “I can’t believe I’m doin’ this, man. Ok, when he wants to me to lose it and start begging him to...y’know..he’ll swirl his tongue around my...y’know...and finger me at the same time. Fuck, I can’t get enough of his tongue.”

John leaned in and lowered his voice. “I know what you mean, mate. Wait until you meet Sherlock, he has the most gorgeous mouth. I mean, the rest of him...he’s just fucking gorgeous, but his mouth...Christ, I can’t even watch he’s sucking me off.”

“It’s your turn, cap’n John,” Jim slurred, “I just told you about my boyfriend’s fucking rimming party, your turn.”

“Ah, well. I really like the tender moments, the snuggling and all.”

“Fuck that shit!” Kirk bright blue eyes went wide. “I want something filthy. We’re not talking about tea time and whatever it is Londoners do,” he waved a drunken hand in the air, pinky up. 

John laughed. “Alright, I think about it all the time anyway. Sherlock doesn’t have a fucking gag reflex. He can take me all the way down, bottoming our at the back of his throat and swallow every fucking drop. It’s fucking brilliant.” 

“No way?” Jim said in wonder. 

“Yeah, way!” They laughed together. John’s phone buzzed, he got a text from Sherlock. “We’ll now, the boy geniuses have analyzed the remains several human corpses at the morgue and it seems Sherlock would like to take us all to dinner. Can you imagine, corpses then dinner?” John snorted. “He says they’re two minutes from the pub. They’ll be here any minute. Drink up mate.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to look at Sherlock and not think about his non-existent gag reflex.” He leaned on John and stood up. 

####

“This has truly been a fascinating day, Spock, surprisingly I was never bored with your company.” Sherlock gleamed at Spock, sitting back on the leather restaurant chair to let the waitress take his plate from the table. “John, text Spock my cell number should he ever be in London.”

“Sir, yes sir,” replied John in his most serious army way. He and Jim snorted and giggled.

“Inebriated humor is bewildering,” Spock said turning his focus to Sherlock who rolled his eyes. 

The waitress brought over four margheritas, ordered by John and set them down in from of each man. Spock sat looking at his drink, eyebrow arched, perplexed. 

“What’s the matter Spock?” John asked. “You’ve never had a margherita?”

“No, I cannot say I have.”

“Well,” John started. “First you lick the rim!” John and Jim burst out laughing, much to the puzzlement of their boyfriends, who sat there, oblivious to the tales shared by two captains in a cozy pub, somewhere from the past, sometime in the future. 

 

the end


End file.
